منتديات المُنى والأرب

Some Jokes

Wife; What will u do, if I die?Husband; I will be mad.Wife; will u marry again?Husband; Mad people can do anything.

Wife; you **id, u fall in love 2nd sight with me, why?Husband; 1st time I didn't understand your father so rich.

Dieing Husband; After my death u will marry Roger.Wife; but he is your enemy.Husband; I know, I suffered a long time, now his turn.

Wife; I am Beautiful, which tense?Husband; Past tense.

Wife; Def***tely, I was fool, that's why I married u. Husband; Is that so, I must be blind in love, didn't noticed that.

Wife; If I die, will u marry again?Husband; no, take a rest for a month.

1st Friend; My wife is an angel.2nd Friend; U r lucky, mine still alive.

Groom's Father; I like your daughter, she is all rounder. I must admit, my son also all rounder…… except…… when he laugh…… looks like a Dracula because of long teeth.Bride's Father; No problem, I guess, your son will not have much time to laugh after marriage.

Wife; Pls tell your friend not to marry Sunita coz she is like a dazzalni.Husband; no way, he didn't tell me anything – when I got married.

**rdarjee 1; Sorry to hear yaar, your wife left with the driver.**rdarjee 2; don't worry – I can drive.

Publisher; Your handwriting too bad, can't u type and bring your ******.Writer; If I knew typing – I wouldn't be writing.

1st guardian; I need to see the dictionary to read my son's writing.2nd guardian; u r lucky, I need to see the bank passbook.

In Panjab engineers planed to make a swimming complex including 3 swimming pools, 1 for cold water, 1 for hot water and another empty for non-swimmers.

Lawyer; how far u were standing from the accident site?Witness; 5.74 m.Lawyer; how can u tell so accurately?Witness; Before coming to court, I thought some dumb might ask this kind of question, so I went to the accident site and measured accurately.

Doctor; don't worry, as long as u r alive – your heart will work perfectly.

I need a tie with coffee color, like coffee with milk.With or without sugar?

Why we go to bed if feeling sleepy?Cause the bed does not come to us.

Teacher; can u tell lifespan of Akbar?Student; no sir, its not written in the book.Teacher; here it is Akbar (1542 – 1605).Student; I thought its his phone number.

Where did u learn this kind of kiss, my stomach is full of air.I was blowing bugle while at army.

Can u give me 100 bucks?When will u return?After 3 days.If u don't return, I will not talk to u,Ok, then give me 500.

Teacher; What is the English of hasha?Student; laugh,Teacher; Then what's for hasha-hashi?Student; Laugha-laughi.

Bagger; Give me 1 buck.No have.Then give me 50 cents.I told u – no have.Then stand beside me.

Why u have a bandage at your leg. Dog bite.U r a police man, dog bites u?I was not in uniform.

Why u are upset?I asked my dad to send money for buying books.So, did he send the money?No, he sent the books.

Doctor; So, what your previous doctor **id?Patient; To change lot of body parts.Doctor; what u decided?Patient; to change the Doctor first.

I am 85 years old and I do not have any enemy.Cool, you must be a very kind person.Well, apparently all are dead.

You are asking 500 tk for this book, next shop they asked 300.Then why don't u buy from the next shop?They don't have a copy, all sold.We will give u 300 tk once all sold.

Wife to Doctor; My husband dreams playing football every night and kicking me time to time.Doctor to husband; Pls start with this medicine right from tonight.Husband to Doctor; I will start from tomorrow.Doc; Why.Husband; Tonight is the Final Match.

Arab; you won 2 millions on lottery, why u r upset?Israeli; I would have bought only the ticket, but foolishly I bought 4 more ticket costing me 8 dollars unneces**ry.

An Arab and a Jewish seated side ** side in an aircraft. A fly was disturbing and Arab got agitated very quickly and finally he managed to kill the fly, put in the mouth, bite few time and swallowed. The Jewish noticed and got up, kill all the flies in the aircraft he found and brought to Arab and asked, you want to buy?

An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the
doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arises.
Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found
locally. So the call went out to a number of countries.

Finally, a Jew was located who had the **me blood type and who was
willing to donate his blood to the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a thank-you card for giving
his blood along with an expensive diamond and a new Rolls Royce car as
a token of his appreciation.
Unfortunately, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery once again.
His doctors called the Jew who was more than happy to donate his blood
again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a
Thank You card and a box of Almond Roca sweets.
The Jew was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not acknowledge
the Jew's kind gesture in the **me way as he had done the first time.
So he phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his
appreciation in not a very generous manner.
The Arab replied :
'Ya habibi (o my friend)!!,
I have Jewish blood now..!?'