"I'm so HAPPY Miss Mary I could give you a kiss!"
"While you have halitosis, I'll give that a miss;
There's still so much more that needs to be done.
Don't think this is over. The fun's JUST begun!"
Mary brushed up his teeth until they were white.
She polished his horns so they weren't such a fright.
She curled his eyelashes and buffed every nail.
She fluffed up his wings and she straightened his tail.
His immense monobrow was trimmed and then tweezed,
The spots on his nose were steamed and then squeezed,
She plucked his disgusting, unsightly nose hairs,
She peeled and exfoliated LOTS of skin layers...
With Caviar Granules for Derma-abrasionTM
Which Mommy's been saving for special occasions,
Who swore that the tiny, dried eggs from a Sturgeon
Were better than dating a TOP plastic surgeon.
The results were AMAZING! Not a wrinkle in sight!
The Monster could hardly contain his delight.
He clapped his big hands and he stomped his huge feet,
But Mary's makeover STILL wasn't complete!
She waited for calm and then said: "I suppose,
It's time that we found some suitable clothes.
My Daddy's quite fat, so I'm sure we can find
A suit that would fit your ENORMOUS behind."
They went to the wardrobe and opened the door,
It was haute-couture HEAVEN from ceiling to floor.
There were shoes, there were suits and dresses galore!
GAULTIER, GIVENCHY, CHANNEL, and DIOR!
The Monster was slack-jawed, his eyes open wide,
He hadn't the SLIGHTEST clue how to decide
Between: Prada, Armani or Gucci, or Boss.
In this maze of designers he was quite at a loss!
But thankfully Little Miss Mary was able
To find her way through the labyrinth of labels.
She scoured the shelves and rummaged through rails,
Convinced that the Monster would look great in tails...
Mary searched for her father's bespoke formal wear,
After all it was Daddy, who made her aware
"That even a MONKEY dressed up in a tux
Had a GOOD chance to look like a million bucks."
She furnished the Monster with J.P. Tod's shoes,
A Ralph Lauren shirt, then proceeded to choose
A STUNNING tuxedo from Louis Vuitton
And with bated breath waited - as he put it on.

Within a few moments Miss Mary could tell
That the dressing-up part wasn't going so well.
It became pretty clear his suit wouldn't fit
When the Monster bent down and his trousers split!
Propriety precludes me from telling you where,
But it was, as you guessed, an embarrassing tear.
The pants weren't designed for a beast of his size.
And the rest of the clothes met a likewise demise...
The tailor-made tailcoat was torn into shreds!
The shirt was reduced to some buttons on threads!
The waistcoat was wasted! The shoes were too small;
His toes burst through them, but then, worst of all...
The Royal Ascot top hat, which was worn to the races,
Got impaled on the Monster's big horn of all places!
The final result was the tux was in TATTERS...
The Monster had turned haute-couture into schmattas!
"I cannot believe I could be so naïve!"
Said Little Miss Mary a little bit peeved:
"I ought to have guessed it SOOO much faster
That getting you dressed would end in disaster!"
But the big hairy Monster was simply ecstatic,
He tingled all over (though it may have been static)
So what if his clothes were ripped at the seams?
They MORE than exceeded his WILDEST dreams!
"I want to thank you so much, I don't know where to start?
Instead of my gut, there's a place in my heart.
For Mary you've changed me both inside and out.
I was going to devour you... Now I'm DEVOUT!
I can't wait to get back to the big monsters' lair
To show them my clothes, my skin and my hair.
I shall teach other Monsters how not to be feared!"
He thanked her once more and with that... disappeared.
After waving good-bye Mary drew a deep sigh,
Lay back and imagined new things she could buy,
But hard as she tried her dreams weren't the same,
Compared to the Monster they all seemed so... tame.
Her entire short life she'd behaved like a brat
With a "Can I have this?" and a "Can I have that!"
But it looked like she'd finally found her passion;
Not JUST for herself, but for big monster fashion.
She never imagined one day she may yearn
Not for dresses or shoes, but a Monster's return.
When all of a sudden, she heard something creaking.
She sat up and listened to scraping and squeaking...

The closet doors opened and through them came out
A motley of monsters with horns, tails and snouts;
Sharp teeth and long tentacles, talons and trunks,
Some hairy, some scaly ALL smelly as skunks!
It's hard to find words to describe their features;
They were, beyond doubt, the UGLIEST creatures!
Every single one weird, every single one wild,
Every single one there to be fashioned and styled.
What do you do, when you're faced with such freaks?
Do you faint? Do you run? Do you hide? Do you shriek?
Miss Mary's solution was typically chic:
"I will open the world's first MONSTER BOUTIQUE!"


The closet doors opened and through them came out
A motley of monsters with horns, tails and snouts;
Sharp teeth and long tentacles, talons and trunks,
Some hairy, some scaly ALL smelly as skunks!
It's hard to find words to describe their features;
They were, beyond doubt, the UGLIEST creatures!
Every single one weird, every single one wild,
Every single one there to be fashioned and styled.
What do you do, when you're faced with such freaks?
Do you faint? Do you run? Do you hide? Do you shriek?
Miss Mary's solution was typically chic:
"I will open the world's first MONSTER BOUTIQUE!"
~ The End ~