Cooking By Candle

by Idries Shah



Mulla Nasrudin made a wager that he could spend a night on a near-by mountain and survive, in spite of ice and snow. Several wags in the teahouse agreed to the adjucate.

Nasrudin took a book and a candle and sat through the coldest night he had ever known. In the morning, half-dead, he claimed his money.

"Did you have nothing at all to keep you warm?" asked the villagers.

"Nothing."

"Not even a candle?"

"Yes, I had a candle."

"The the bet is off."

Nasrudin did not argue.

Some months later he invited the same people to a feast at his house. They sat down in his reception room, waiting for the food. Hours passed, and they started to mutter about food.

"Let's go and see how it is getting on," said Nasrudin.

Everyone trooped into the kitchen. They found an enormous pot of water, under which a candle was burning. The water was not even tepid.

"It is not ready yet," said the Mulla. "I don't know why - it has been there since yesterday."

The Procession

by Houman Farzad



A group of Muslim religious leaders once got together and, having nothing better to do that day, began to talk on trivial matters. One of them asked:

"During a funeral procession, should one walk on the right side of the coffin or on the left?"

Immediately, the group was divided by a difference of opinion. Half said that they would walk on the right side, while the other half maintained that they would walk on the left side. Finally, they decided to go to Mulla Nasrudin and ask for his religiouns proclamation. Mulla listened carefully and then said laughingly:

"It does not matter, just as long as you are not on the inside."

The Cat Is Wet

by Idries Shah



Nasrudin took a job as watchman. His master called him and asked whether it was raining. "I have to go see the Sultan, and the dye on my favourite cloak is not fast. If it is raining, it will be ruined."

Now, Nasrudin was very lazy; and, besides, he prided himself upon being a master of deduction. The cat had just streaked in, soaked through.

"Master," he said," it is raining heavily."

The master spent some time getting himself arrayed in other finery, went out, and found that there was no rain. The cat had been soaked by someone throwing water at it to start it away.

Nasrudin got fired.

The Fool



A philosopher, having made an appointment to dispute with Nasrudin, called and found him away from home. Infuriated, he picked up a peice of chalk and wrote "Stupid Oaf" on Nasrudin's gate.

As soon as he got home and saw this, the Mulla rushed to the philosopher's house. "I had forgotten," he said, "that you were to call. And I apologize for having not been at home. Of course, I remembered the appointment as soon as I saw that you had left your name on my door."

Hidden Depths



One day Mulla Nasrudin was in the market and saw birds for sale at five hundred reals each. "My bird," he thoguht, "which is larger than any of these is worth far more." The next day, he took his pet hen to market. Nobody would offer him more than fifity reals for it. The Mulla began to shout:

"O people! This is a disgrace! Yesterday you were selling birds only half this size at ten times the price."

Someone interrupted him: "Nasrudin, those were parrots - talking birds. They are worth more because they talk."

"Fool!" said Nasrudin; "those birds you value only because they can talk. This one, which has wonderful thoughts and yet does not annoy people with chatter, you reject."

Four In A Bed



After his wife died, Mulla Nasrudin married a widow. But things did not go smoothly because Mulla constantly talked about his former wife and the woman constantly talked about her dead husband.

One night, lying in bed, they began to talk about their former spouses again, when sudenly Mulla shoved his wife off the bed. The woman was so upset about this incident that the next day she complained about Mulla to her father. The father-in-law asked Mulla why he had pushed his daughter off the bed. Mulla said:

"Believe me, it was not my fault. With my former wife and her deceased husband, there were four of us in the bed, and there was not enough room, so she just fell off!"

Food of the Cloak



Nasrudin heard that there was a banquet being held in the near-by town, and that everyone was invited. He made his way there as quickly as he could.

When the Master of Ceremonies saw him in his ragged cloak, he seated him in the most inconspicuous place far from the great table where the most important people were being waited on hand and foot.

Nasrudin saw that it would be an hour at least before the waiters reached the place where he was sitting, so he got up and went home. He dressed himself in a magnificent sable claok and turban and returned to the feast.

As soon as the heralds of the Emir, his host, saw this splendid sight they started to beat the drum of welcome and sound the trumpets in a manner consonant with a visitor of high rank.

The Chamberlain came out of the palace himself, and conducted the magnificent Nasrudin to a place almost next to the Emir. A dish of wonderful food was immediately placed before him. Without a pause, Nasrudin began to rub handfuls of it into his turban and cloak.

"Your Eminence," said the prince," I am curious as to your eating habits, which are new to me."

"Nothing special," said Narudin; "the cloak got me in here, got me the food. Surely it deserves its portion?"

Compass



Someone brought a compass that he had found and asked Mulla Nasrudin if he knew what it was. Mulla looked at the compass and began to cry. A few minutes later, he stopped crying and began to laugh.

The man asked: "Why did you cry and why are you laughing now?"

Mulla said: "I cried because I thought how stupid you were not to know what a tiny object like this is. Then I laughed, because when I thought about it, I realized that I didn't know what it was either."

How Nasrudin Created Truth



"Laws as such do not make people better," said Mulla Nasrudin to the King; "they must practice certain things, in order to become attuned to inner truth. This form of truth resembles apparent truth only slightly."

The King decided that he could, and would, make people observe the truth. He could make them practice truthfulness.

His city was entered by a bridge. On this he built a gallows. The following day, when the gates were opened at dawn, the Captain of the Guard was stationed with a squad of troops to examine all who entered.

An announcement was made: "Everyone will be questioned. If he tells the truth, he will be allowed to enter. If he lies, he will be hanged."

Nasrudin stepped forward.

"Where are you going?"

"I am on my way," said Nasrudin slowly, "to be hanged."

"We don't believe you!"

"Very well, if I have told a lie, hang me!"

"But if we hang you for lying, we will have made what you said come true!"

"That's right: now you know what truth is - YOUR truth!"

Moon In A Bowl of Water



One night the poet Awhadi of Kerman was sitting on his porch, bent over a vessel. Shams e-Tabrizi happened to pass by.

Shams: "What are you doing?"

Awhadi: "Contemplating the moon in a bowl of water."

Shams: "Unless you have broken your neck, why don't you look at the moon in the sky?"