[أرب جمـال]

Steps
1
Understand that changes will always happen. Changes occur in our lives at regular intervals, but most of the time we are unaware of them, as they do not affect us directly in any substantial way. A shop that has been in the area for years may close down, or undergo a change of ownership; an old building may be demolished to make way for some development programme, or a new roadway may be constructed through a familiar haunt. These circumstances may or may not have a bearing on your existence, but they are major shifts to the people who are peripherally involved or intimately affected by them.


2

1. Expect to enjoy some changes. Some changes are greatly welcomed: someone may give you an iPod, which changes your music-listening experience. You may purchase a cellular telephone with all the latest bells and whistles, which changes the way in which you communicate with people. These are changes that directly affect you or some aspect of your life, yet they can be enjoyable. Your next-door neighbours may decide to move away, and new people may move in. If your relationship with the old ones was cordial, you may view the newcomers with trepidation, or even distrust. Think for a moment, though, how they must feel about you. Jim Reeves once sang a song that included the line: “A stranger is just a friend you do not know." All people are thus potential friends, so meeting them should be a voyage of discovery, not a cause for concern.
2. 3
   Realize that some changes are going to be very unexpected. The above applies to anyone and everyone, be they a new boss or someone who scatters your groceries all over the pavement when you collide at a corner. You may discover that you have interests in common, or that they have an interest about which you know nothing. One of the greatest compliments you can give anyone is to say, “Teach me, please" even if you are an expert on their particular subject. This gives you the opening to teach them and perhaps enhance their experience of life. If, however, you are a rank novice, pay attention, learn from them and give them all the credit for getting you started with your new-found knowledge or abilities. If you advance more quickly than they do, help them to attain the next level of expertise, so that your relationship is mutually beneficial.
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   Some changes will be a challenge. You may change your job, or be forced to move away from familiar territory. These are challenges to which you can either rise or fall. Your attitude toward this new situation is of paramount importance. If you approach it with fear, you will jump at every sound and soon become a nervous wreck. However, if you look forward to it as an adventure, and you tackle everything that comes your way with a sense of discovery, you are certain to win in the end, even if you do make some mistakes in the beginning. As long as you are willing to learn, you cannot go very far wrong.
4. 5
   Grow with the changes. Technology is advancing so quickly in fields that were unheard of, or unimaginable before. Those of us who were born more than half a century ago have had to contend with the advent of computers. Some people have chosen to ignore them, so that they do not, as they put it, “even know where to switch it on, whereas others grasped them with both hands and reveled in the opportunities this new machine gave them to learn new skills and to surf the Internet in search of information, which was before only to be gained by going to libraries and searching, often in vain, through seemingly endless catalogue lists.
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   Accept it as a new chapter in your life. A change, then, should be seen as a new chapter in your life: a fresh opportunity to gain knowledge or experience in some new area, or a chance to discover new people, new places and new skills.
6. 7
   The key to accepting change is to have an open mind and to accept everything as it presents itself. There are things: subcultures of society; religions and other philosophies; active pursuits (like sport) and passive ones (surfing the ‘net for information); gambling; political policies etc., about which you may have strongly biased opinions. This is not a bad thing, depending upon your approach. Certain people can accept constructive criticism, whereas others will reject any criticism at all. If you are of the latter bent, you will have a very hard time adjusting to change, whereas people who accept constructive criticism can advance. Ensure that your criticism is constructive and presented in a non-judgmental manner, so that it is more acceptable to others. If you do not understand something, ask - and pay attention to the answers you receive: you just may be enlightened.
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   If you belong to a subculture, sect, cult etc. that other people have difficulty in accepting, try to put forth your arguments in a coherent manner. You may want to sit down, correlate and write down your feelings, explanations and so forth, so that you can present them in such a way that they do not sound as if you are reciting a rote-learned poem. Hearing about your particular proclivity, explained in a rational way, just might change the way in which your listeners think about it. It is a change from their way of thinking, remember, and they need to have it explained in way that they can understand.
8. 9
   Be tolerant of others. Many people become members of, or adherents to, institutions which appear to have ideas and ideals that you may not understand, or about which you have received bad reports, or which might go against your creed or traditions, but that does not necessarily make them undesirable. You may see the members of certain cults as "brainwashed", but you have to remember that you have also undergone a form of brainwashing by your parents, peers, politicians and others to make you what you are today. Most so-called "education" is a form of brainwashing, as it points learners in a certain direction and teaches them doubtful skills from one perspective only. Certain "facts" will be presented, whilst others, just as relevant but which conflict with the teachers’ or authorities’ dogmas, will be ignored or covered up. This is brainwashing. You are brainwashed into believing that there is an energy crisis, yet thousands of inventions that use far less energy, or create their own, have been suppressed by groups or people with vested interests. You are blackmailed by cancer research foundations to donate funds, yet the treatment for cancer has not progressed in any significant way for the past thirty-odd years. 96% of all people who contract cancer will die of it, as conventional treatment is so debilitating that it goes a long way toward killing them. You accept this, but you will probably be quick to condemn a so-called “quack?, who is reported in the press as having “killed? two people who underwent his/her unconventional treatment … even though he/she has cured thousands of others who were given up for lost by conventional medicine.
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   Change requires that you accept certain things with which you might not be familiar at present, but with which you can become comfortable once you are exposed to it, learn about it and perhaps even participate in it.
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    A good maxim to keep in mind is the old hippie saying: "Don’t knock it until you have tried it."