[زينه]

You Know Your an Arab if


1. Your mother calls you "Mama" and Your father calls you "Baba"
2. You've heard Amro Diab's "Ya Noor El Ein cd" 764363 times in ur life.
3. You blame the Yahood for eveything!
4. And the Americans too.
5. You refer to older Arabs as "3ammo" or "khalo"
6. You get pissed when an Arab is displayed as a Terrorist in a Movie.
7. You also get pissed when the Yahood are the good guys.
8. You go to Arabic Resturants, tell the owners Your Arab, and think
you're going to get free food.
9. You fight over who's going to pay the bill.
10. Your family is over at Your house all the time.
11. There is no such thing as quiet time.
12. You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has Arab/Muslim
blood in them (ex. Danny Thomas, Doug Flutie, Shakira, Mohammed Ali).
13. Wearing a leather jacket during the summer is cool.
14. You are always right.
15. You have at least 1 picture/object resembling a camel in Your
house.
16. Your Tetah was married at age 13.
17. You have a mustache; male OR female!! and Unibrows too!
18. Your mother has enough gold to intimidate Cleopatra.
19. Your family comes to Canada/USA for freedom and tries to screw
every penny that they can out of the government!
20. "Hefleh" is the secret word for "Meat Market", "Convention" is too.
21. Even if ur born in America, u still say "Im going back home" when you go
visit the middle east!
22. You're parents are blood related!
23. Some relatives mention to Your father that they have a child the
same age as yours. (Hint, hint)
24. 1% of Your family attended college.
25. You and all Your siblings have the same middle name, ur Dad's!
26. You have an Aunt somewhere with 17 kids.
27. Your mother holes herself up in the kitchen for an entire day
making "ma7shi".
28. Then it's "Lib Koosa" with the leftovers.
29. Your grandfather was racist.
30. The only thing Your parents knew about each other before they
married were their names. Last names, that is.
31. You give birth to a beautiful baby girl, and all the elders say "Awww...
maybe next time!
32. You insist ba2lawah isn't Greek, it's Arab!
33. Same for Gyros.
34. While dancing the "debkeh", you lost track of the beat and kicked
the person next to you.
35. The "Evil Eye" is not only a stare, it's jewelry!!!!
36. You own one too many sequinned dresses.
37. You eat so much bizzer, the salt eats away at Your lips.
38. You meet an Arab in another state, and find you are related to them!
39. Every time you hear particular last names, you yell,"Yahoodi!" like you have
radar.
40. You say "bolice" for "police".
41. You inherited or will inherit land in Your country.
42. You brag about Your kids even if they are bad.
43. Your spouse is also Your first cousin.
44. Three or more relatives live in Your neighborhood.
45. You smoke as if it were Your last day on earth...and you only smoke
Marlboro or Camel.
46. You wear more cologne than deodorant.
47. You pronounce "comfortable" cun-fort-a-bull.
48. You say the letter "h" like "etch."
49. You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is.
50. You gossip about Your own family...with members of Your own family.
51. You have more then 4 kids.
52. You cook a meal that lasts 3 days. sometimes longer...
53. You pity anyone who is not an Arab and think all other cultures are morally
corrupt.
54. You have fruit trees in Your backyard and when they are in season you live
on them.
55. You don't use the word "tease" in English cause you feel weird.
56. Your father swears at you with words that effect himself (Iben el kalb).
57. you have 500,000,000 cousins. probably more...
58. Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
59. At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests.
60. You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it.
61. You have a gold necklace of Your name written in Arabic. ...and in English
62. If you are male, you're named after Your grandfather and great-grandfather.
63. You play cards till the break of dawn.
64. You can't have a meal without bread.
65. You get offended when Americans call Arabic bread "Pita bread"
66. If you are an Arab woman, you dye Your hair an obviously fake shade of
blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.
67. You teach Your American friends Arabic word (mostly bad ones) and get
happy when they use them in normal conversations.
68. Your Mom has a creative nickname for you like "Natoosheh," or
"Fatooneh" or "Hamoodeh"
69. You have a difficult Arabic name so you come up with an Americanized
version of it like "Sam" or "Moe" or "Al"
70. You have someone tell you Your fortune through Your coffee cup.
71. You love Um Kalthoom and if you don't, Your dad makes you listen to her
and tries to translate the words into English so you can appreciate her as
much as he does.
72. If you're a single Arab guy, you tell women you're a "successful
businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home", even if
you're an unemployed goat herder.
73. You get really happy and call the whole family to the room when
there is a special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arabic related on
CNN or PBS.
74. You use the Mosque as a social ground to meet potential wives/husbands.
75. You call all brown colored soda "Bibsi" and all clear "Seven Up"
76. Your kids have different game systems, but they are
all "Atari" according to you, or "play station" if you've caught up with the
times.